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A selection of random funny
limerick poems from our vast
collection of 100000 poems by famous and less famous
poets - enjoy! funny Limerick Collection - 93
Quite Dead by Herbert Nehrlich
There was a young butcher in Fife
who was stuck with a disloyal wife.
While he cut up the meat
she would go off and cheat,
there was truly no pleasure in life.
So, one day he had caught her in bed
with the preacher who'd said 'I thee wed',
since he couldn't convince them
he chopped up and then minced them.
And the two have since then been quite dead.
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Measure They Gave Him A Pill by Herbert Nehrlich
A physician who worked at McGill
on a Monday, mid-morning, fell ill.
They discovered a lack
of the old IPECAC
for good measure they gave him a pill.
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Caught Cold by Margaret Kollmer
A cautious young ruler called Caesar
Caught cold and let forth a great snaesar
Don't worry, he said
I have a spare head
Tucked away in my nebuchadnaesar.
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Cheeks And Chin by Herbert Nehrlich
He has grown, in the clinic, a beard
but the stubbles are rough and much feared
by the soft, peachy skin
of both cheeks and her chin,
she considers his hairyness weird.
So she sharpened that Wilkinson blade
pulled the love of her life to the shade,
and proceeded to shave
from the face of this brave
man the hair, but she left him his beard.
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