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A selection of random funny poems from our vast collection of 100000 poems by famous and less famous poets - enjoy!

Funny poetry games for kids and other poetry



Reuben Bright by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Because he was a butcher and thereby
Did earn an honest living (and did right),
I would not have you think that Reuben Bright
Was any more a brute than you or I;
For when they told him that his wife must die,
He stared at them, and shook with grief and fright,
And cried like a great baby half that night,
And made the women cry to see him cry.

And after she was dead, and he had paid
The singers and the sexton and the rest,
He packed a lot of things that she had made
Most mournfully away in an old chest
Of hers, and put some chopped-up cedar boughs
In with them, and tore down the slaughter-house.




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Quicksand Years by Walt Whitman

Quicksand years that whirl me I know not whither,
Your schemes, politics, fail--lines give way--substances mock and
elude me;
Only the theme I sing, the great and strong-possess'd Soul, eludes
not;
One's-self must never give way--that is the final substance--that out
of all is sure;
Out of politics, triumphs, battles, life--what at last finally
remains?
When shows break up, what but One's-Self is sure?


= = = = = = = = = =



Funny to be a Century by Emily Dickinson

Funny -- to be a Century --
And see the People -- going by --
I -- should die of the Oddity --
But then -- I'm not so staid -- as He --

He keeps His Secrets safely -- very --
Were He to tell -- extremely sorry
This Bashful Globe of Ours would be --
So dainty of Publicity --







= = = = = = = = = =



The Day of Wrath by Ambrose Bierce

Day of Satan's painful duty!
Earth shall vanish, hot and sooty;
So says Virtue, so says Beauty.


Ah! what terror shall be shaping
When the Judge the truth's undraping--
Cats from every bag escaping!


Now the trumpet's invocation
Calls the dead to condemnation;
All receive an invitation.


Death and Nature now are quaking,
And the late lamented, waking,
In their breezy shrouds are shaking.


Lo! the Ledger's leaves are stirring,
And the Clerk, to them referring,
Makes it awkward for the erring.


When the Judge appears in session,
We shall all attend confession,
Loudly preaching non-suppression.


How shall I then make romances
Mitigating circumstances?
Even the just must take their chances.


King whose majesty amazes,
Save thou him who sings thy praises;
Fountain, quench my private blazes.


Pray remember, sacred Saviour,
Mine the playful hand that gave your
Death-blow. Pardon such behavior.


Seeking me, fatigue assailed thee,
Calvary's outlook naught availed thee;
Now 'twere cruel if I failed thee.


Righteous judge and learnèd brother,
Pray thy prejudices smother
Ere we meet to try each other.


Sighs of guilt my conscience gushes,
And my face vermilion flushes;
Spare me for my pretty blushes.


Thief and harlot, when repenting,
Thou forgavest--complimenting
Me with sign of like relenting.


If too bold is my petition
I'll receive with due submission
My dismissal--from perdition.


When thy sheep thou hast selected
From the goats, may I, respected,
Stand amongst them undetected.


When offenders are indited,
And with trial-flames ignited,
Elsewhere I'll attend if cited.


Ashen-hearted, prone and prayerful,
When of death I see the air full,
Lest I perish too be careful.


On that day of lamentation,
When, to enjoy the conflagration,
Men come forth, O be not cruel:
Spare me, Lord--make them thy fuel.



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