Medusa Island - fabulous fantasy novel

 Funny Poems Home  | Love Poems   |  Famous Poems  |  Inspirational Poems    |  Funny Posters Robert Burns

 
 Poems Menu

Google
Web  
www.funny-poems.biz
 

 
Poets

Lewis Carroll

Hilaire Belloc

Edward Lear

Marriott Edgar

T. S. Eliot

Alan Alexander Milne

Roald Dahl

Spike Milligan

Shel Silverstein

Edward Gorey

Ogden Nash

Walter de la Mare

Emily Dickinson

X. J. Kennedy

Jack Prelutsky

Poems by category
School Poems
Nursery Rhymes

Funny Rhymes - 1

Funny Rhymes - 2

Funny Rhymes - 3

Funny Rhymes - 4

Funny Rhymes - 5

Funny Rhymes - 6

Funny Rhymes - 7

Funny Rhymes - 8

Funny Rhymes - 9

Funny Rhymes - 10

 

Best Funny Poems

Funny Poem Collection - 1

Funny Poem Collection - 2

Funny Poem Collection - 3

Funny Poem Collection - 4

Funny Poem Collection - 5

Random Funny Poems - 1

Random Funny Poems - 2

Random Funny Poems - 3

Random Funny Poems - 4

Random Funny Poems - 5

Random Funny Poems - 6

Funny Limericks - 1

Funny Limericks - 2

Funny Limericks - 3

Funny Limericks - 4

Funny Limericks - 5

Funny Limericks - 6

 

Poetry Links

 

Our poster stores
cheap posters
sports posters
framed posters
humor posters
model posters
movie posters
 
 Free Diet Plans

 Top Paying Keywords

 Keyword Suggestions

 Everything you want to know about everything!

Work from Home

Free View Webcams

notMensa IQ Tests

Christmas Jokes
World History

Baby Name Chooser

Poker Online

Top 100 Baby Names

Text Links

Online Advertising

Top searches


 

 

Links

 
 
 

A selection of random funny poems from our vast collection of 100000 poems by famous and less famous poets - enjoy!

Funny swinburne poems and other poetry



Faithless Sally Brown by Thomas Hood

Young Ben he was a nice young man,
A carpenter by trade;
And he fell in love with Sally Brown,
That was a lady's maid.

But as they fetch'd a walk one day,
They met a press-gang crew;
And Sally she did faint away,
Whilst Ben he was brought to.

The Boatswain swore with wicked words,
Enough to shock a saint,
That though she did seem in a fit,
'Twas nothing but a feint.

'Come, girl,' said he, 'hold up your head,
He'll be as good as me;
For when your swain is in our boat,
A boatswain he will be.'

So when they'd made their game of her,
And taken off her elf,
She roused, and found she only was
A coming to herself.

'And is he gone, and is he gone?'
She cried, and wept outright:
'Then I will to the water side,
And see him out of sight.'

A waterman came up to her,
'Now, young woman,' said he,
'If you weep on so, you will make
Eye-water in the sea.'

'Alas! they've taken my beau Ben
To sail with old Benbow;'
And her woe began to run afresh,
As if she'd said Gee woe!.

Says he, 'They've only taken him
To the Tender ship, you see';
'The Tender-ship,' cried Sally Brown
'What a hard-ship that must be!'.

'O! would I were a mermaid now,
For then I'd follow him;
But Oh!--I'm not a fish-woman,
And so I cannot swim.

'Alas! I was not born beneath
The virgin and the scales,
So I must curse my cruel stars,
And walk about in Wales.'

Now Ben had sail'd to many a place
That's underneath the world;
But in two years the ship came home,
And all her sails were furl'd.

But when he call'd on Sally Brown,
To see how she went on,
He found she'd got another Ben,
Whose Christian-name was John.

'O Sally Brown, O Sally Brown,
How could you serve me so?
I've met with many a breeze before,
But never such a blow':

Then reading on his 'bacco box
He heaved a bitter sigh,
And then began to eye his pipe,
And then to pipe his eye.

And then he tried to sing 'All's Well,'
But could not though he tried;
His head was turn'd, and so he chew'd
His pigtail till he died.

His death, which happen'd in his berth,
At forty-odd befell:
They went and told the sexton, and
The sexton toll'd the bell.





= = = = = = = = = =



Her Eyes by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Up from the street and the crowds that went,
Morning and midnight, to and fro,
Still was the room where his days he spent,
And the stars were bleak, and the nights were slow.

Year after year, with his dream shut fast,
He suffered and strove till his eyes were dim,
For the love that his brushes had earned at last, --
And the whole world rang with the praise of him.

But he cloaked his triumph, and searched, instead,
Till his cheeks were sere and his hairs were gray.
'There are women enough, God knows,' he said. . . .
'There are stars enough -- when the sun's away.'

Then he went back to the same still room
That had held his dream in the long ago,
When he buried his days in a nameless tomb,
And the stars were bleak, and the nights were slow.

And a passionate humor seized him there --
Seized him and held him until there grew
Like life on his canvas, glowing and fair,
A perilous face -- and an angel's, too.

Angel and maiden, and all in one, --
All but the eyes. -- They were there, but yet
They seemed somehow like a soul half done.
What was the matter? Did God forget? . . .

But he wrought them at last with a skill so sure
That her eyes were the eyes of a deathless woman, --
With a gleam of heaven to make them pure,
And a glimmer of hell to make them human.

God never forgets. -- And he worships her
There in that same still room of his,
For his wife, and his constant arbiter
Of the world that was and the world that is.

And he wonders yet what her love could be
To punish him after that strife so grim;
But the longer he lives with her eyes to see,
The plainer it all comes back to him.




= = = = = = = = = =



Respondez! by Walt Whitman

Respondez! Respondez!
(The war is completed--the price is paid--the title is settled beyond
recall;)
Let every one answer! let those who sleep be waked! let none evade!
Must we still go on with our affectations and sneaking?
Let me bring this to a close--I pronounce openly for a new
distribution of roles;
Let that which stood in front go behind! and let that which was
behind advance to the front and speak;
Let murderers, bigots, fools, unclean persons, offer new
propositions!
Let the old propositions be postponed!
Let faces and theories be turn'd inside out! let meanings be freely
criminal, as well as results!
Let there be no suggestion above the suggestion of drudgery!
Let none be pointed toward his destination! (Say! do you know your
destination?)
Let men and women be mock'd with bodies and mock'd with Souls!
Let the love that waits in them, wait! let it die, or pass stillborn
to other spheres!
Let the sympathy that waits in every man, wait! or let it also pass,
a dwarf, to other spheres!
Let contradictions prevail! let one thing contradict another! and let
one line of my poems contradict another!
Let the people sprawl with yearning, aimless hands! let their tongues
be broken! let their eyes be discouraged! let none descend into
their hearts with the fresh lusciousness of love!
(Stifled, O days! O lands! in every public and private corruption!
Smother'd in thievery, impotence, shamelessness, mountain-high;
Brazen effrontery, scheming, rolling like ocean's waves around and
upon you, O my days! my lands!
For not even those thunderstorms, nor fiercest lightnings of the war,
have purified the atmosphere;)
--Let the theory of America still be management, caste, comparison!
(Say! what other theory would you?)
Let them that distrust birth and death still lead the rest! (Say! why
shall they not lead you?)
Let the crust of hell be neared and trod on! let the days be darker
than the nights! let slumber bring less slumber than waking
time brings!
Let the world never appear to him or her for whom it was all made!
Let the heart of the young man still exile itself from the heart of
the old man! and let the heart of the old man be exiled from
that of the young man!
Let the sun and moon go! let scenery take the applause of the
audience! let there be apathy under the stars!
Let freedom prove no man's inalienable right! every one who can
tyrannize, let him tyrannize to his satisfaction!
Let none but infidels be countenanced!
Let the eminence of meanness, treachery, sarcasm, hate, greed,
indecency, impotence, lust, be taken for granted above all! let
writers, judges, governments, households, religions,
philosophies, take such for granted above all!
Let the worst men beget children out of the worst women!
Let the priest still play at immortality!
Let death be inaugurated!
Let nothing remain but the ashes of teachers, artists, moralists,
lawyers, and learn'd and polite persons!
Let him who is without my poems be assassinated!
Let the cow, the horse, the camel, the garden-bee--let the mudfish,
the lobster, the mussel, eel, the sting-ray, and the grunting
pig-fish--let these, and the like of these, be put on a perfect
equality with man and woman!
Let churches accommodate serpents, vermin, and the corpses of those
who have died of the most filthy of diseases!
Let marriage slip down among fools, and be for none but fools!
Let men among themselves talk and think forever obscenely of women!
and let women among themselves talk and think obscenely of men!
Let us all, without missing one, be exposed in public, naked,
monthly, at the peril of our lives! let our bodies be freely
handled and examined by whoever chooses!
Let nothing but copies at second hand be permitted to exist upon the
earth!
Let the earth desert God, nor let there ever henceforth be mention'd
the name of God!
Let there be no God!
Let there be money, business, imports, exports, custom, authority,
precedents, pallor, dyspepsia, smut, ignorance, unbelief!
Let judges and criminals be transposed! let the prison-keepers be put
in prison! let those that were prisoners take the keys! Say!
why might they not just as well be transposed?)
Let the slaves be masters! let the masters become slaves!
Let the reformers descend from the stands where they are forever
bawling! let an idiot or insane person appear on each of the
stands!
Let the Asiatic, the African, the European, the American, and the
Australian, go armed against the murderous stealthiness of each
other! let them sleep armed! let none believe in good will!
Let there be no unfashionable wisdom! let such be scorn'd and derided
off from the earth!
Let a floating cloud in the sky--let a wave of the sea--let growing
mint, spinach, onions, tomatoes--let these be exhibited as
shows, at a great price for admission!
Let all the men of These States stand aside for a few smouchers! let
the few seize on what they choose! let the rest gawk, giggle,
starve, obey!
Let shadows be furnish'd with genitals! let substances be deprived of
their genitals!
Let there be wealthy and immense cities--but still through any of
them, not a single poet, savior, knower, lover!
Let the infidels of These States laugh all faith away!
If one man be found who has faith, let the rest set upon him!
Let them affright faith! let them destroy the power of breeding
faith!
Let the she-harlots and the he-harlots be prudent! let them dance on,
while seeming lasts! (O seeming! seeming! seeming!)
Let the preachers recite creeds! let them still teach only what they
have been taught!
Let insanity still have charge of sanity!
Let books take the place of trees, animals, rivers, clouds!
Let the daub'd portraits of heroes supersede heroes!
Let the manhood of man never take steps after itself!
Let it take steps after eunuchs, and after consumptive and genteel
persons!
Let the white person again tread the black person under his heel!
(Say! which is trodden under heel, after all?)
Let the reflections of the things of the world be studied in mirrors!
let the things themselves still continue unstudied!
Let a man seek pleasure everywhere except in himself!
Let a woman seek happiness everywhere except in herself!
(What real happiness have you had one single hour through your whole
life?)
Let the limited years of life do nothing for the limitless years of
death! (What do you suppose death will do, then?)



= = = = = = = = = =



There was an Old Man on a hill by Edward Lear

There was an Old Man on a hill,
Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
He ran up and down,
In his Grandmother's gown,
Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.



<-- Previous     |     Next -->

 


<< Now chek out our 1000s of other humor poems >>

More Funny Poems