|
A selection of random funny poems from our vast
collection of 100000 poems by famous and less famous
poets - enjoy! eulogy poems and other poetry
The Jacquerie Chapter 4 by Sidney Lanier
Chapter IV.
Lord Raoul drew rein with all his company, And urged his horse i' the crowd, to gain fair view Of him that spoke, and stopped at last, and sat Still, underneath where Gris Grillon was laid, And heard, somewhile, with languid scornful gaze, The friar putting blame on priest and knight. But presently, as 'twere in weariness, He gazed about, and then above, and so Made mark of Gris Grillon. 'So, there, old man, Thou hast more brows than legs!' 'I would,' quoth Gris, 'That thou, upon a certain time I wot, Hadst had less legs and bigger brows, my Lord!' Then all the flatterers and their squires cried out Solicitous, with various voice, 'Go to, Old Rogue,' or 'Shall I brain him, my good Lord?' Or, 'So, let me but chuck him from his perch,' Or, 'Slice his tongue to piece his leg withal,' Or, 'Send his eyes to look for his missing arms.' But my Lord Raoul was in the mood, to-day, Which craves suggestions simply with a view To flout them in the face, and so waved hand Backward, and stayed the on-pressing sycophants Eager to buy rich praise with bravery cheap. 'I would know why,' -- he said -- 'thou wishedst me Less legs and bigger brows; and when?' 'Wouldst know? Learn then,' cried Gris Grillon and stirred himself, In a great spasm of passion mixed with pain; 'An thou hadst had more courage and less speed, Then, ah my God! then could not I have been That piteous gibe of a man thou see'st I am. Sir, having no disease, nor any taint Nor old hereditament of sin or shame, -- But, feeling the brave bound and energy Of daring health that leaps along the veins -- As a hart upon his river banks at morn, -- Sir, wild with the urgings and hot strenuous beats Of manhood's heart in this full-sinewed breast Which thou may'st even now discern is mine, -- Sir, full aware, each instant in each day, Of motions of great muscles, once were mine, And thrill of tense thew-knots, and stinging sense Of nerves, nice, capable and delicate: -- Sir, visited each hour by passions great That lack all instrument of utterance, Passion of love -- that hath no arm to curve; Passion of speed -- that hath no limb to stretch; Yea, even that poor feeling of desire Simply to turn me from this side to that, (Which brooded on, into wild passion grows By reason of the impotence that broods) Balked of its end and unachievable Without assistance of some foreign arm, -- Sir, moved and thrilled like any perfect man, O, trebly moved and thrilled, since poor desires That are of small import to happy men Who easily can compass them, to me Become mere hopeless Heavens or actual Hells, -- Sir, strengthened so with manhood's seasoned soul, I lie in this damned cradle day and night, Still, still, so still, my Lord: less than a babe In powers but more than any man in needs; Dreaming, with open eye, of days when men Have fallen cloven through steel and bone and flesh At single strokes of this -- of that big arm Once wielded aught a mortal arm might wield, Waking a prey to any foolish gnat That wills to conquer my defenceless brow And sit thereon in triumph; hounded ever By small necessities of barest use Which, since I cannot compass them alone, Do snarl my helplessness into mine ear, Howling behind me that I have no hands, And yelping round me that I have no feet: So that my heart is stretched by tiny ills That are so much the larger that I knew In bygone days how trifling small they were: -- Dungeoned in wicker, strong as 'twere in stone; -- Fast chained with nothing, firmer than with steel; -- Captive in limb, yet free in eye and ear, Sole tenant of this puny Hell in Heaven: -- And this -- all this -- because I was a man! For, in the battle -- ha, thou know'st, pale-face! When that the four great English horsemen bore So bloodily on thee, I leapt to front To front of thee -- of thee -- and fought four blades, Thinking to win thee time to snatch thy breath, And, by a rearing fore-hoof stricken down, Mine eyes, through blood, my brain, through pain, -- Midst of a dim hot uproar fainting down -- Were 'ware of thee, far rearward, fleeing! Hound!'
= = = = = = = = = =
There was an Old Man with an owl by Edward Lear
There was an Old Man with an owl, Who continued to bother and howl; He sate on a rail, And imbibed bitter ale, Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl.
= = = = = = = = = =
Sestina Of The Tramp a Royal by Rudyard Kipling
Speakin' in general, I'ave tried 'em all The 'appy roads that take you o'er the world. Speakin' in general, I'ave found them good For such as cannot use one bed too long, But must get 'ence, the same as I'ave done, An' go observin' matters till they die.
What do it matter where or 'ow we die, So long as we've our 'ealth to watch it all The different ways that different things are done, An' men an' women lovin' in this world; Takin' our chances as they come along, An' when they ain't, pretendin' they are good?
In cash or credit no, it aren't no good; You've to 'ave the 'abit or you'd die, Unless you lived your life but one day long, Nor didn't prophesy nor fret at all, But drew your tucker some'ow from the world, An' never bothered what you might ha' done.
But, Gawd, what things are they I'aven't done? I've turned my 'and to most, an' turned it good, In various situations round the world For 'im that doth not work must surely die; But that's no reason man should labour all 'Is life on one same shift life's none so long.
Therefore, from job to job I've moved along. Pay couldn't 'old me when my time was done, For something in my 'ead upset it all, Till I'ad dropped whatever 'twas for good, An', out at sea, be'eld the dock-lights die, An' met my mate the wind that tramps the world!
It's like a book, I think, this bloomin, world, Which you can read and care for just so long, But presently you feel that you will die Unless you get the page you're readi'n' done, An' turn another likely not so good; But what you're after is to turn'em all.
Gawd bless this world! Whatever she'oth done Excep' When awful long I've found it good. So write, before I die, ''E liked it all!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Ah Poverties, Wincings Sulky Retreats by Walt Whitman
Ah poverties, wincings, and sulky retreats! Ah you foes that in conflict have overcome me! (For what is my life, or any man's life, but a conflict with foes-- the old, the incessant war?) You degradations--you tussle with passions and appetites; You smarts from dissatisfied friendships, (ah wounds, the sharpest of all;) You toil of painful and choked articulations--you meannesses; You shallow tongue-talks at tables, (my tongue the shallowest of any;) You broken resolutions, you racking angers, you smother'd ennuis; Ah, think not you finally triumph--My real self has yet to come forth; It shall yet march forth o'ermastering, till all lies beneath me; It shall yet stand up the soldier of unquestion'd victory.
<< Now chek out our 1000s of other humor poems >>
More Funny Poems |