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A selection of random funny poems from our vast
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Beautiful Soup by Lewis Carroll
BEAUTIFUL Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau--ootiful Soo-oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo-oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
Game, or any other dish?
Who would not give all else for two
Pennyworth only of Beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau--ootiful Soo-oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo-oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!
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There was an Young Lady of Ryde by Edward Lear
There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied.
She purchased some clogs,
And some small spotted dogs,
And frequently walked about Ryde.
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There was a Young Lady of Poole by Edward Lear
There was a Young Lady of Poole,
Whose soup was excessively cool;
So she put it to boil,
By the aid of some oil,
That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
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Jabed Meeker Humorist by Ellis Parker Butler
Twain? Oh, yes, I've heard Mark Twain
Heard him down to Pleasant Plain;
Funny? Yes, I guess so. Folks
Seemed to laugh loud at his jokes-
Laughed to beat the band; but I
Couldn't rightly make out why.
Guess his humor ain't refined.
Quite enough to suit my mind.
Mark's all right-right clever speaker-
But he can't touch Jabed Meeker;
And one thing that makes it queer
Is that Jabed lives right here.
You ain't met him? Son, you've missed
The most funniest humorist
I've met with in my born days-
Funniest talker, anyways,
When it comes to repartee-
That's the humor catches me!
Like a specimen? Huh! Well,
Take, for instance, his umbrell;
Wouldn't think, until he spoke,
He could turn that to a joke;
Mark Twain couldn't, bet you that!
That's where Meeker beats Mark flat!
Just imagine three or four
Fellers in Jim Beemer's store-
'Long comes Meeker, and some feller
Says, 'See Meeker's bum umbreller.'
Quick as lightning Meeker 'd yell:
'Don't you guy my bumberell!
Where's the feller dares to hoot
At this sping-spang bumbershoot?
Show me some one dares to call
Bad names at my bumbersoll!'
Right like that! Right off the reel!
Say, you'd ought to heard us squeal!
Then, before we'd got our breath,
Meeker, solemn sad as death,
Says: 'Stand up there 'gainst that wall,
Para-bumber-shooter-soll!'
Twain? All right! But just give me
Some one slick at repartee!
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