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A selection of random funny poems from our vast
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Wandering At Morn by Walt Whitman
Wandering at morn,
Emerging from the night, from gloomy thoughts--thee in my thoughts,
Yearning for thee, harmonious Union! thee, Singing Bird divine!
Thee, seated coil'd in evil times, my Country, with craft and black
dismay--with every meanness, treason thrust upon thee;
--Wandering--this common marvel I beheld--the parent thrush I
watch'd, feeding its young,
(The singing thrush, whose tones of joy and faith ecstatic,
Fail not to certify and cheer my soul.)
There ponder'd, felt I,
If worms, snakes, loathsome grubs, may to sweet spiritual songs be
turn'd,
If vermin so transposed, so used, so bless'd may be,
Then may I trust in you, your fortunes, days, my country;
--Who knows that these may be the lessons fit for you?
From these your future Song may rise, with joyous trills,
Destin'd to fill the world.
= = = = = = = = = =
Chanting The Square Deific by Walt Whitman
Chanting the square deific, out of the One advancing, out of the
sides;
Out of the old and new--out of the square entirely divine,
Solid, four-sided, (all the sides needed)... from this side JEHOVAH
am I,
Old Brahm I, and I Saturnius am;
Not Time affects me--I am Time, old, modern as any;
Unpersuadable, relentless, executing righteous judgments;
As the Earth, the Father, the brown old Kronos, with laws,
Aged beyond computation--yet ever new--ever with those mighty laws
rolling,
Relentless, I forgive no man--whoever sins, dies--I will have that
man's life;
Therefore let none expect mercy--Have the seasons, gravitation, the
appointed days, mercy?--No more have I;
But as the seasons, and gravitation--and as all the appointed days,
that forgive not,
I dispense from this side judgments inexorable, without the least
remorse.
Consolator most mild, the promis'd one advancing,
With gentle hand extended--the mightier God am I,
Foretold by prophets and poets, in their most rapt prophecies and
poems;
From this side, lo! the Lord CHRIST gazes--lo! Hermes I--lo! mine is
Hercules' face;
All sorrow, labor, suffering, I, tallying it, absorb in myself;
Many times have I been rejected, taunted, put in prison, and
crucified--and many times shall be again;
All the world have I given up for my dear brothers' and sisters'
sake--for the soul's sake;
Wending my way through the homes of men, rich or poor, with the kiss
of affection;
For I am affection--I am the cheer-bringing God, with hope, and all-
enclosing Charity;
(Conqueror yet--for before me all the armies and soldiers of the
earth shall yet bow--and all the weapons of war become
impotent:)
With indulgent words, as to children--with fresh and sane words, mine
only;
Young and strong I pass, knowing well I am destin'd myself to an
early death:
But my Charity has no death--my Wisdom dies not, neither early nor
late,
And my sweet Love, bequeath'd here and elsewhere, never dies.
Aloof, dissatisfied, plotting revolt,
Comrade of criminals, brother of slaves,
Crafty, despised, a drudge, ignorant,
With sudra face and worn brow, black, but in the depths of my heart,
proud as any;
Lifted, now and always, against whoever, scorning, assumes to rule
me;
Morose, full of guile, full of reminiscences, brooding, with many
wiles,
(Though it was thought I was baffled and dispell'd, and my wiles
done--but that will never be;)
Defiant, I, SATAN, still live--still utter words--in new lands duly
appearing, (and old ones also;)
Permanent here, from my side, warlike, equal with any, real as any,
Nor time, nor change, shall ever change me or my words.
Santa SPIRITA, breather, life,
Beyond the light, lighter than light,
Beyond the flames of hell--joyous, leaping easily above hell;
Beyond Paradise--perfumed solely with mine own perfume;
Including all life on earth--touching, including God--including
Saviour and Satan;
Ethereal, pervading all, (for without me, what were all? what were
God?)
Essence of forms--life of the real identities, permanent, positive,
(namely the unseen,)
Life of the great round world, the sun and stars, and of man--I, the
general Soul,
Here the square finishing, the solid, I the most solid,
Breathe my breath also through these songs.
= = = = = = = = = =
City Of Ships by Walt Whitman
City of ships!
(O the black ships! O the fierce ships!
O the beautiful, sharp-bow'd steam-ships and sail-ships!)
City of the world! (for all races are here;
All the lands of the earth make contributions here;)
City of the sea! city of hurried and glittering tides!
City whose gleeful tides continually rush or recede, whirling in and
out, with eddies and foam!
City of wharves and stores! city of tall façades of marble and iron!
Proud and passionate city! mettlesome, mad, extravagant city!
Spring up, O city! not for peace alone, but be indeed yourself,
warlike!
Fear not! submit to no models but your own, O city!
Behold me! incarnate me, as I have incarnated you!
I have rejected nothing you offer'd me--whom you adopted, I have
adopted;
Good or bad, I never question you--I love all--I do not condemn
anything;
I chant and celebrate all that is yours--yet peace no more;
In peace I chanted peace, but now the drum of war is mine;
War, red war, is my song through your streets, O city!
= = = = = = = = = =
Hysteria by T. S. Eliot
As she laughed I was aware of becoming involved in her
laughter and being part of it, until her teeth were
only accidental stars with a talent for squad-drill. I
was drawn in by short gasps, inhaled at each momentary
recovery, lost finally in the dark caverns of her
throat, bruised by the ripple of unseen muscles. An
elderly waiter with trembling hands was hurriedly
spreading a pink and white checked cloth over the rusty
green iron table, saying: 'If the lady and gentleman
wish to take their tea in the garden, if the lady and
gentleman wish to take their tea in the garden ...' I
decided that if the shaking of her breasts could be
stopped, some of the fragments of the afternoon might
be collected, and I concentrated my attention with
careful subtlety to this end.
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