Medusa Island

USA = $0.99 UK = £0.75
Amazon USA  Amazon UK

 Funny Poems Home  | Love Poems   |  Famous Poems  |  Inspirational Poems    |  Funny Posters Robert Burns

 
 Poems Menu

Google
Web  
www.funny-poems.biz
 

 
Poets

Lewis Carroll

Hilaire Belloc

Edward Lear

Marriott Edgar

T. S. Eliot

Alan Alexander Milne

Roald Dahl

Spike Milligan

Shel Silverstein

Edward Gorey

Ogden Nash

Walter de la Mare

Emily Dickinson

X. J. Kennedy

Jack Prelutsky

Poems by category
School Poems
Nursery Rhymes

Funny Rhymes - 1

Funny Rhymes - 2

Funny Rhymes - 3

Funny Rhymes - 4

Funny Rhymes - 5

Funny Rhymes - 6

Funny Rhymes - 7

Funny Rhymes - 8

Funny Rhymes - 9

Funny Rhymes - 10

 

Best Funny Poems

Funny Poem Collection - 1

Funny Poem Collection - 2

Funny Poem Collection - 3

Funny Poem Collection - 4

Funny Poem Collection - 5

Random Funny Poems - 1

Random Funny Poems - 2

Random Funny Poems - 3

Random Funny Poems - 4

Random Funny Poems - 5

Random Funny Poems - 6

Funny Limericks - 1

Funny Limericks - 2

Funny Limericks - 3

Funny Limericks - 4

Funny Limericks - 5

Funny Limericks - 6

 

Poetry Links

 

Our poster stores
cheap posters
sports posters
framed posters
humor posters
model posters
movie posters
 
 Free Diet Plans

 Top Paying Keywords

 Keyword Suggestions

 Everything you want to know about everything!

Work from Home

Free View Webcams

notMensa IQ Tests

Christmas Jokes
World History

Baby Name Chooser

Poker Online

Top 100 Baby Names

Text Links

Online Advertising

Top searches


 

 

Links

 
 
 

A selection of random funny poems from our vast collection of 100000 poems by famous and less famous poets - enjoy!

phonics poems and other poetry



The Duck and the Kangaroo by Edward Lear

Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,
'Good gracious! how you hop!
Over the fields and the water too,
As if you never would stop!
My life is a bore in this nasty pond,
And I long to go out in the world beyond!
I wish I could hop like you!'
Said the duck to the Kangaroo.




II
'Please give me a ride on your back!'
Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
'I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack,'
The whole of the long day through!
And we'd go to the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,
Over the land and over the sea;--
Please take me a ride! O do!'
Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.



III
Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,
'This requires some little reflection;
Perhaps on the whole it might bring me luck,
And there seems but one objection,
Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,
Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,
And would probably give me the roo-
Matiz!' said the Kangaroo.



IV
Said the Duck ,'As I sate on the rocks,
I have thought over that completely,
And I bought four pairs of worsted socks
Which fit my web-feet neatly.
And to keep out the cold I've bought a cloak,
And every day a cigar I'll smoke,
All to follow my own dear true
Love of a Kangaroo!'



V
Said the Kangaroo,'I'm ready!
All in the moonlight pale;
But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady!
And quite at the end of my tail!'
So away they went with a hop and a bound,
And they hopped the whole world three times round;
And who so happy, -- O who,
As the duck and the Kangaroo?






= = = = = = = = = =



To A Pupil by Walt Whitman

Is reform needed? Is it through you?
The greater the reform needed, the greater the personality you need
to accomplish it.

You! do you not see how it would serve to have eyes, blood,
complexion, clean and sweet?
Do you not see how it would serve to have such a Body and Soul, that
when you enter the crowd, an atmosphere of desire and command
enters with you, and every one is impress'd with your
personality?

O the magnet! the flesh over and over!
Go, dear friend! if need be, give up all else, and commence to-day to
inure yourself to pluck, reality, self-esteem, definiteness,
elevatedness;
Rest not, till you rivet and publish yourself of your own
personality.


= = = = = = = = = =



Veteran Sirens by Edwin Arlington Robinson

The ghost of Ninon would be sorry now
To laugh at them, were she to see them here,
So brave and so alert for learning how
To fence with reason for another year.

Age offers a far comelier diadem
Than theirs; but anguish has no eye for grace,
When time's malicious mercy cautions them
To think a while of number and of space.

The burning hope, the worn expectancy,
The martyred humor, and the maimed allure,
Cry out for time to end his levity,
And age to soften its investiture;

But they, though others fade and are still fair,
Defy their fairness and are unsubdued;
Although they suffer, they may not forswear
The patient ardor of the unpursued.

Poor flesh, to fight the calendar so long;
Poor vanity, so quaint and yet so brave;
Poor folly, so deceived and yet so strong,
So far from Ninon and so near the grave.




= = = = = = = = = =



A Woman Waits For Me by Walt Whitman

A woman waits for me--she contains all, nothing is lacking,
Yet all were lacking, if sex were lacking, or if the moisture of the
right man were lacking.

Sex contains all,
Bodies, Souls, meanings, proofs, purities, delicacies, results,
promulgations,
Songs, commands, health, pride, the maternal mystery, the seminal
milk;
All hopes, benefactions, bestowals,
All the passions, loves, beauties, delights of the earth,
All the governments, judges, gods, follow'd persons of the earth,
These are contain'd in sex, as parts of itself, and justifications of
itself.

Without shame the man I like knows and avows the deliciousness of his
sex,
Without shame the woman I like knows and avows hers.

Now I will dismiss myself from impassive women,
I will go stay with her who waits for me, and with those women that
are warm-blooded and sufficient for me;
I see that they understand me, and do not deny me;
I see that they are worthy of me--I will be the robust husband of
those women.

They are not one jot less than I am,
They are tann'd in the face by shining suns and blowing winds,
Their flesh has the old divine suppleness and strength,
They know how to swim, row, ride, wrestle, shoot, run, strike,
retreat, advance, resist, defend themselves,
They are ultimate in their own right--they are calm, clear, well-
possess'd of themselves.

I draw you close to me, you women!
I cannot let you go, I would do you good,
I am for you, and you are for me, not only for our own sake, but for
others' sakes;
Envelop'd in you sleep greater heroes and bards,
They refuse to awake at the touch of any man but me.

It is I, you women--I make my way,
I am stern, acrid, large, undissuadable--but I love you,
I do not hurt you any more than is necessary for you,
I pour the stuff to start sons and daughters fit for These States--I
press with slow rude muscle,
I brace myself effectually--I listen to no entreaties,
I dare not withdraw till I deposit what has so long accumulated
within me.

Through you I drain the pent-up rivers of myself,
In you I wrap a thousand onward years,
On you I graft the grafts of the best-beloved of me and America,
The drops I distil upon you shall grow fierce and athletic girls, new
artists, musicians, and singers,
The babes I beget upon you are to beget babes in their turn,
I shall demand perfect men and women out of my love-spendings,
I shall expect them to interpenetrate with others, as I and you
interpenetrate now,
I shall count on the fruits of the gushing showers of them, as I
count on the fruits of the gushing showers I give now,
I shall look for loving crops from the birth, life, death,
immortality, I plant so lovingly now.



<-- Previous     |     Next -->

 


<< Now chek out our 1000s of other humor poems >>

More Funny Poems