Medusa Island

USA = $0.99 UK = £0.75
Amazon USA  Amazon UK

 Funny Poems Home  | Love Poems   |  Famous Poems  |  Inspirational Poems    |  Funny Posters Robert Burns

 
 Poems Menu

Google
Web  
www.funny-poems.biz
 

 
Poets

Lewis Carroll

Hilaire Belloc

Edward Lear

Marriott Edgar

T. S. Eliot

Alan Alexander Milne

Roald Dahl

Spike Milligan

Shel Silverstein

Edward Gorey

Ogden Nash

Walter de la Mare

Emily Dickinson

X. J. Kennedy

Jack Prelutsky

Poems by category
School Poems
Nursery Rhymes

Funny Rhymes - 1

Funny Rhymes - 2

Funny Rhymes - 3

Funny Rhymes - 4

Funny Rhymes - 5

Funny Rhymes - 6

Funny Rhymes - 7

Funny Rhymes - 8

Funny Rhymes - 9

Funny Rhymes - 10

 

Best Funny Poems

Funny Poem Collection - 1

Funny Poem Collection - 2

Funny Poem Collection - 3

Funny Poem Collection - 4

Funny Poem Collection - 5

Random Funny Poems - 1

Random Funny Poems - 2

Random Funny Poems - 3

Random Funny Poems - 4

Random Funny Poems - 5

Random Funny Poems - 6

Funny Limericks - 1

Funny Limericks - 2

Funny Limericks - 3

Funny Limericks - 4

Funny Limericks - 5

Funny Limericks - 6

 

Poetry Links

 

Our poster stores
cheap posters
sports posters
framed posters
humor posters
model posters
movie posters
 
 Free Diet Plans

 Top Paying Keywords

 Keyword Suggestions

 Everything you want to know about everything!

Work from Home

Free View Webcams

notMensa IQ Tests

Christmas Jokes
World History

Baby Name Chooser

Poker Online

Top 100 Baby Names

Text Links

Online Advertising

Top searches


 

 

Links

 
 
 

cute animal poems and rhymes

The Pig
by Roald Dahl


In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."